Mommyhood

You Know You’re a Mom When…

Hi There !

I am Manasi. I am a first time mom….drumroll…applause…more applause please! Now now while I make it sound like being a new mom is an achievement, trust me when I tell you that IT really IS 🙂 Correction, it is more like walking a tightrope or skating on thin ice. My daughter is 15 months old and I feel like I have been her MOM FOR 15 YEARS! The truth is that becoming a mom is easy infact it is a walk in the park (and you thought pregnancy was tough…ha ha ha). But actually playing the role of “the mother” is like playing Russian Roulette – you never know when the next bullet is going to hit you! Before you can duck or save yourself you realize that you have been shot. Game over…KABOOM..!

Now I am actually pretty good at all this. I can take a tantrum or two. Logic is my weapon. I am a consultant after all. But holy smoke, all my strategy skills seem to fail these days when I need them the most. Its like I am having a Karna (from the Mahabharata) moment! Now, I know exactly how that dude felt in the middle of the battlefield. Poor ol Karna. Here you are ready to fire your best weapons and it all comes to naught in front of a 78 cms tall bundle of energy. Princess Miraaya knows how to tie mommy in knots and drive her bazookas ! She is one smart cookie who seems to be getting the better of me all the time! Now, I do not like to ascribe to stereotypes but all of those harrowing tales about being a mother are horrifyingly true ! Motherhood is a helluva crazy job. I have mommy hair to prove it…scowl..scowl.

Most mommies have their own favourite “you know you’re a mommy when” moments. These are the bolt from the blue moments when you CANNOT BELIEVE or really DO NOT WANT TO BELIEVE how much your life really has changed since you became a parent. You look at yourself in the mirror and all you see are dark circles and a person that is crying out for a vacation. Sigh! There are some great “you know you’re a mom when” posters on pinterest and these are so bang on that it hurts 🙁

Now I have had my own priceless moments when I was hit by the realisation that my life as I knew it was well and truly over ! I think the time has come for me to unburden myself and share some of my “you know you’re a mom when” moments with you all. Maybe the universe will give me a break if I share these with you, Amen 😛

Word of Caution – The events depicted below are true and any resemblance to any person especially a little person with 12 teeth, hazel brown eyes, innocent face, a blood curling howl and neat dance moves is absolutely and totally true! So here goes…

You know you're a mom when moments
Meet Miraaya the Menace

You know you’re a mom when your husband ceases to be your “honey” or “sweetheart” and is instead referred to as “papa”, “daddy” and most often as “beta”

I just cannot refer to my hubby as anything other than Papa or Beta ! It is genuinely sad and quite annoying but that is how I end up addressing him. “Papa can you pass me the phone”, “Beta movie ke liye chaley” , “What do you think of this painting daddy”…Grrrr….how do I stop ? Papa certainly isn’t amused 😛

You know you’re a mom when nursery rhymes play on a loop inside your head all the time…the wheels of the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round….sigh!

These confounded rhymes ! They have taken over my mind. I am constantly searching for new nursery rhymes that I can sing to my daughter. I find myself humming rhymes while at work or at the gym or even while reading ! And what is worse is that I feel genuinely happy when I discover a new nursery rhyme (sic!) Just learned the number rhyme – One, two, three, four, five…today I caught a fish alive. Six, seven, eight,nine, ten but then I let it go again. Why did you let it go? Because it bit my finger so. Which finger did it bite? The little finger on my right !

My daughter, in turn is obsessed with them especially videos of nursery rhymes on my phone. I made the mistake of downloading a set of videos and showing it to her. She is hooked and I have been rhymed ! Arghhhhhh….

You know you’re a mom when the most exciting event in your social calendar is a kids birthday party

This one is a recent phenomenon and one that I think will last for many years to come. I find my social calendar is hijacked with baby birthday parties. And oddly I am far more excited than my daughter while attending these birthday bashes. I hyperventilate and show off everything from the balloon decor to the cake to the return gifts to my daughter. She cannot yet fathom what the fuss is all about and has only just begun to enjoy dressing up for the party. The worst part about attending baby birthdays is that all of a sudden you become an “aunty” ! This is just not fair – I am still recovering from being a mommy and now i am also an aunty ! The world has too many aunty’s and the last thing we need is to add another aunty to the list

You know you’re a mom when every item of clothing you own has food stains on it

I have been suffering from “the dirty baby hands on clothes” syndrome for months now. All my clothes have food stains. Miraaya makes sure that she plants her soiled hands on my office clothes daily. It is a cat and mouse game which I am losing miserably. My dry cleaning bills are hitting the roof. But what can I say, I AM A MOM !

You know you’re a mom when your only moment of peace in the house is when you visit the Loo !

I have always found solace in the loo – it is the perfect hideout that offers complete privacy. And I always took the washroom dash for granted. If I had an argument with hubby I would just cool off in the loo. Or if I had an interesting chapter of a book to finish, off to the loo I would go and would conveniently shut the world out. Think about it – the loo is a perfect getaway! But alas this hideout has now become a timeout 🙁 I now just dash to the loo to snatch a moment of calm. This moment also is fast slipping away since my daughter has learnt to knock on the washroom door. She is now invading my basic loo time !!!

You know you’re a mom when you aren’t the least bit embarrassed to sniff your kiddos bottom from time to time to determine if he/she has pooped

It is amazing how comfortable one gets with potty after becoming a mom ! Being pre-occupied with poo is the bane of motherhood in the early years. It is like you have a mental poop calendar auto uploaded in your head. Even if you are a working mom, the poop schedule is something you like to get on the top off once you are home ! How many times has my baby pooped? When is she likely to poop again? Lets sniff her bottom for signs of poop…sigh ! You wont flinch at the thought of mentioning poop among your social circle. It seems normal to talk about it and fuss about it. I won’t say more – this has already gotten pretty graphic 🙂

You know you’re a mom when the best part of your day is when your baby runs into your arms and greets you with a warm hug when you come home from work

This is the part that makes all of the above truly worth it. Being wanted feels great! And I feel super charged when I see my daughter run towards me with excitement and glee when I come home after a hard day at the office. I used dream of running into Raj’s (aka Shahrukh Khan in DDLJ) arms when I was a teenager. I now see that love in my daughter’s eyes. It feels so good to come home to her, pick her up and play with her. Ofcourse, in ten minutes she is rummaging through my handbag, throwing stuff out and frantically looking for my phone…..GRRRRRR…..One, two, three…deep breaths….four, five, six…..phew…seven,eight, nine…keep calm you are a mom !

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